Sunshine and chocolate

Now that I consider coffee, alcohol and Twix as major food groups, some of my friends are a bit worried about my lifestyle. In my defence, my vices and addictions serve specific “productive” functions. I don’t smoke because smoking makes me inefficient, but I drink coffee and pop caffeine pills to kick sluggishness off my system. If not, I’ll hibernate. Gloomy weather is conducive for sleeping, to the point that my miserable bed looks so inviting for hibernation.

Consequently, this raises the need (and I’m not just making this up ;p) for alcohol to keep me warm. When all sorts of thermals fail, I’ve got to find a more dependable source of heat. Of course, alcohol has fringe benefits too – anyone can raise the juvenile excuse of “Oh, it wasn’t me. It was Peroni talking that night.” Appalling, but when you neither have the time nor the interest to dissect every failed social interaction, convenient excuses are lifesavers.

Twix is part of the list because it’s a source of sugar. Sugar releases endorphins, and to shamefully quote one of Hollywood’s most popular ditz, “Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands” or themselves, or pesters. In a way, chocolate can save the world.

So in the grand scheme of things, there is nothing to worry about. My liver can still take alcohol, caffeine can’t do much damage with my already undernourished bones, and there’s definitely room for Twix because I am under medication which hastens my metabolism.

Rationalising, next to whining, is fun.

In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. [sic]